The Day My Parents Became Human

 

As you age and have kids of your own, you sometimes, unwillingly, become "the best parent there is."   You know best, you have the answers, everyone else is an idiot...you know what I mean.  

This attitude can creep into your relationship with your parents.  You start to second guess why they let you do this or that.  Why did they let me spend so much time with my grandparents, who smoked like chimneys, and exposed me to all that second hand smoke?  Why did they make me drive so far to go to school, where most of the time I didn't feel I fit in and that cost a lot of money on top of that?  Why didn't they know where to shop to get better clothes for less or know the fashion trends so I wasn't embarrassed of what I wore?  

And the list gets more serious.

Why didn't they have daily Bible studies with me as I was growing up?  Why didn't they let me choose what college to go to on my own?  Why did they have a huge chicken farm, that I had to work on and that worried them more than I thought was worth it?  Why did they always "adopt" people into the family to spend time with, when all I really wanted was to spend time alone, as a family?

Here's what I realized a few years ago...They did it for me.  

They made sure I spent time with my grandparents, so I'd know them.  They were very far from perfect, had a very rough life, but had so much to teach me.  And second hand smoke wasn't that big of a deal in the 80s-we knew so little.

They sent me to the best school they could find and broke their backs to pay for it, so I'd have a better chance at having a good future.  I also learned so much about being content and investing in people who were not like me.

They clothed me with love.  Fashion is such a unimportant thing.  I had what I needed.  They showed me what was important.

They taught me Biblical truths daily by walking with me through life.  They may not have pulled the Bible out everyday, but they pulled it into everyday situations.  They made sure I was at every church event I wanted to attend and every church camp and every opportunity to learn more about God.

They encouraged me to go to the college of my choice, based on a few criteria.  Price and majors available.  I wanted to go to some very expensive schools.  I am so glad they encouraged me to think reasonably and ended up where I did, learning what I did.

They had a huge chicken farm, because they dreamed it would give them a better life and help people along the way.  Farming is a noble profession.  It is a service.  It was so fitting for them.

They always adopted people because they know how to love them.  They can befriend the roughest, toughest folks and find the good in them and encourage it.  They can find the friendless and be there for them...the orphan and be family to them.  They really have an amazing gift.

These are just a few instances where I had the opportunity to be critical of my parents or to love them.  My groundbreaking realization:  MY PARENTS ARE HUMAN.  They are not perfect.  They have lessons to learn and lessons to teach.  The have and will mess up.  I will need their help and they will need my help.  But guess what?  Another large lesson I have learned lately is to love who God has placed you with...in all their imperfections. Don't go find a better fit, a more ideal mom or sister or brother.  Sure.  Surround yourselves with those who encourage you to grow, adopt a close friend who is more spiritually mature than you are.  Do all of that, but don't leave your family behind.  Love them fiercely, daily forgiving, and be full of grace, because God knows you want the same consideration one day...everyday.

I know this is kind of a weird post for Father's Day, but is so fitting in my mind.  In a world where we are bombarded with "idealistic" everything on social media, it is good to remember the humanity in us all.  The imperfections, the lack of control over the day to day, the goodness of redemption of the mess...it is good.  It is sobering and empowering.  Love your family.  God gave them to you and you to them.